Night of the Fikkers
by Lucinda
Summary: What new terror will arise in Sunnydale? A dimensional alignment that allows the direct influence of something strange and fearsome: fikkers.


Author: Lucinda rating: pg 13 (as the show is rated)  
main characters: Anya, Willow, Spike pairing: none really and lots.  
disclaimer: I do not hold any legal rights to any characters from the series Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  
distribution: Bite Me, WLS, QPC, WWW, Cat, Soulmates, Greenfae, Paula - anyone else ask first.  
note: set slightly AU in season 5, going to be very odd (hopefully amusing). No offense is intended towards any 'shippers.

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They first had a warning of the impending event when Anya darted into the Magic Box, clutching a sheet of parchment in her hand, her face pale with terror.

"It's coming! NO! I was hoping to never live through one of these again!" She looked as if she was well past the initial shock and moving towards denial and desperation.

Everyone else was looking at her, Buffy and Riley at the table, allegedly going over Buffy's psychology paper, Dawn sitting near them with her math book, and Giles at the counter. Willow had been in the back checking the contents of a newly arrived shipment, and had heard the slamming door.

But it was Xander, who had been restocking the box of 'raven's feet', now fallen all over the floor, who spoke. "An? Sweetheart, what exactly is coming, and why is it so bad?"

"The Fikkers! It will be horrible! Traumatic, terrifying, and entirely disorientingly confusing." Anya was now clinging to Xander, her hands clenched on his shirt with white knuckles.

Buffy looked at Giles, her expression making it clear that she'd like to know what exactly was wrong. All Giles could do was make a small, baffled shrug.

Dawn asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "What are these fikkers, and what's so bad about them?"

Anya looked up, a tear slipping over her cheek. Leaning against Xander with on arm sliding around his waist possessively, she sighed. "It's complicated. You all know how there are other dimensions? Well... some of them... there are places where people have an idea what's happening in other dimensions, and the turn it into books, or a television series, or a movie. But they don't always get it right, or they think that it would be better if something had gone differently... And then there are the next step down. Fikkers watch these television shows, get unhappy about the plot twists, and decide to change them."

Riley frowned. "Apart from the whole invading our privacy, how does this affect us? What could this do to us if all they can do is watch and write stories about us?"

"How much do they see?" Buffy sounded worried.

Anya shook her head, clearly frustrated. "Normally, they can't hurt us, and some places see more than others. But that's not the problem. The problem is that every once in a while, there's this thing, some sort of dimensional alignment and a mystical energy source that I really don't understand, which is why I never got a rotation in the monitering department, but anyhow... Sometimes, this alignment thingy happens, and they can affect our reality by their writing."

Giles asked the next dreaded question. "As it would follow that their alterations would ahh... influence events to be more in line with their stories, what do they write about?"

Anya's expression looked torn between fury and dismayed worry. "Many of them write smut. Some write angst."

Xander gave a small smile, clearly not having a problem yet. "But honey, we like smut. We practice that a lot on our own. How would this be different?"

"Because they don't like most of the so called conventional pairings! Most of them will be trying to have you screwing Buffy! Or that horrible cheerleader! And some will have Buffy back with that brooding vampire, or with Giles, or you! She can't have you!" Anya looked extremely upset.

"Myself and... Buffy?" Giles sounded horrified. "Not that she's... but... she's my Slayer! My student, almost like a daughter to me. Most assuredly not a potential lover."

"They're fikkers. They don't care about that. Maybe some of them think you look sexy, which I suppose you aren't unattractive for an older man, but... the point of their writings isn't how you would run your love life, it's how they would. I suggest that we honor Xander's idea of the ritual hiding. In separate places." Anya was definitely not happy.

Everybody scattered, their minds racing in all directions as they contemplated the possible implications of these 'fikkers' and what they might do to the town. Nobody thought to try to warn Spike, or to send word to Los Angeles where Angel and his people ran a detective agency.

Willow had retreated to the dorm room, confident that she would have it all to herself. After all, Buffy was sure to be with Riley, 'making sure they were safe' or something along those lines. As for her friend Tara... She had the suspicion that Tara had a few plans for her snuggle-bunny Graham. All of which meant that she should be just fine all by herself right here.

She dressed in her not quite silk pajamas, long loose navy pants and a matching sleeveless top, and read for a while. She was still troubled by the whole thing. How bad could these fikkers be? If Anya was afraid... Willow gradually drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Willow tossed on her bed, her mind filled with images that didn't seem quite... right. Beyond the walls of her dorm, other people were experiencing similar 'dreams', such as Joyce Summers, owner of the local art gallery, Jenny Calendar, recently returned to visit her 'good friend' Giles, and Frederick Snyder, the principal of Sunnydale High School.

They were graduating that afternoon, in a long, drawn out ceremony that would allow the mayor to transform into a horrible demon, and wreck havoc over the world. Willow could feel herself panicking, fears racing through her mind as she tried to pace the limited confines of her room. Oz caught her wrist, pulling her to his lap, kissing her lips gently. "I have a better idea..."

She almost heard a voice, like a girl Dawn's age. "No, we don't like Oz anymore! He's bad! Remember Veruca? Wolfy sex? Get him out of there and give her someone that knows the concept of loyalty."

She was in the high school library, in one of her jumpers, a sheer pink blouse underneath, looking up at Giles. His suit appeared to have... tightened, and she reached out with one trembling hand why is my hand shaking? I was never that nervous around Giles? and ran it over his arm. "Please, you have to believe me. I find... you're just so wonderful. I love you." Ack! That's just... eew! This looks like some sort of opening for supposedly underage porn! With Giles!

"You couldn't possibly... Not such a sweet girl..." Giles spoke, even as his jacket dropped to the floor and he reached towards her with one hand...

Willow sat up in her bed, eyes wild. "There is no way in hell that I intend to let some other dimensional teenage fantasy cast teenage me in soft porn with Giles! Eewww."

There was the faintest... not quite a voice, but maybe an echo of a voice? 'But he's Giles! He's so sexy and that accent! I could just ohh...'

Someone seemed to be arguing against the Giles-lusting voice. 'But he didn't want teen Willow, he had Jenny. Or maybe Joyce. She needs someone who is closer to her own age.'

Willow suddenly felt like she was somewhere else, a sidewalk, eating an ice cream cone with Xander. The scene felt almost familiar to her... When she ended up with ice cream on the tip of her nose, it all fell into place. This was when Buffy came back from summer break, just when she'd thought maybe Xander... although she was over that crush now. And shouldn't Buffy be arriving now?

Xander leaned closer, one hand sliding onto her waist as his lips touched hers, the ice cream suddenly gone...

"No no no! Not going to go there either! He's with Anya!" Willow felt herself getting very unhappy and worried. This must have been what Anya had meant...

She heard the shadow? echo? whatever it was, it sounded like another female voice, someone else trying to interfere with her life. "no! Not Xander! Give her a real man!"

With that, she was in the hallway of the school, her body pressed back against a male form, complete with a very aroused... A cool hand was wrapped around her throat, and the scent of leather and spices flowed around her, suggesting intense and naughty things. A voice like velvet, carrying a hint of accent purred above her, the chest vibrating slightly.

"But she's so cute and helpless. Quite a turn on." A hand slid over her stomach, gliding under her shirt...

Willow almost screamed, somehow shattering herself free of THAT particular thing. The last thing that she wanted... well, on her list of things that she didn't want was some pseudo-rape-seduction of terrified Willow by Angelus! "Oh no..."

A different voice, now. "Vampires are great... But Angelus was too ruthless. She needs someone that can commit."

Things shifted slightly, and she was in a different outfit, collapsed on her bed but this is Buffy's side of the room. There was a knock at the door, and she heard herself respond in a voice filled with pain "come in."

It was Spike, wearing his coat with it flaring around him, dramatically backlit by the hall. In moments, he was beside her, one cold hand on her arm as he pinned her to the bed.

"I'll scream." Her voice was breathless, high and weak. This isn't how it went. Oh no, not another fikker version...

"Bonus." He snarled the word, his yellow eyes making the word a threat.

She felt his teeth graze over her throat, and then felt his cool tongue flick over her neck, the sensation making her arc upwards...

"Ack! That's... wrong!" Willow stood in the middle of the room, shaking. So many images, so many scenarios...

Her door was flung open, a figure briefly backlit as he dove into the room, slamming the door behind him. Spike stood there, his hair disarrayed, shirt inside out and backwards, boots half unlaced. He looked at her, his eyes full of questions.

"What is going on out there tonight? It's... it's... I got molested by the moron! And the Watcher! And BOTH slayers! I feel so violated. Whose next, A... no, not even going to mention it. Wouldn't want to give them any ideas."

For a moment, Willow had been trying to figure out if this was another scenario devised by those horrible fikkers. But with his words, she knew that this was the real Spike, and that he'd been having a night somewhat like hers. Only more so. "Anya said there was something about a dimensional alignment. These... things that you've been suffering? They're the result of something called fikkers, and they... she said in their own dimensions they write stories about us. And there was something about them not liking the conventional pairings... umm...Xander? And you? I mean..."

"That would never happen. Ever. Who've you had?" Spike's eyes flickered amber at the mere suggestion.

"There was a flashback to Oz, someone trying to have sophomore me and Giles in a bad porno, Angelus in the hallway, and... umm... that night, when you found out about the chip." She hoped he didn't get upset.

"You and the Watcher? That's... isn't the term jailbait?" Spike looked almost amused.

"I was going more for 'wrong' or maybe 'almost incestuous' but yeah. They're getting worse though. I think... I think we'd best get out of here. Far away." Her voice was trembling, and she kept seeing the possibilities for more disastrous fikker escapades. What if... would they think that she and Tara were doing more than spells? What about... her argument with Faith? She shivered, hoping that none of the Fikkers tried anything like that.

Spike nodded. "Come on, I got my car. We can go to Toronto... I know this great place, run by a bird called Jeanette..."

On the way to the car, she stumbled, her hand grabbing Spike as her vision was filled with...

She stood in the mayor's office, Faith in front of her, a wicked smile on her dark lips. "Now, it seems that your friends aren't willing to make the trade to get you back. So, now, I get to keep you."

With those words, Faith grabbed her arms, pulling her next to her with her slayer strength, crushing her lips against Willow's, one hand sliding up her arm and down her back...

Willow almost choked. "Car... now. Drive fast."

Spike just nodded. "While I'm driving, you best pray we don't wreck. Fast is sounding better all the time. Damn Slayer taste in my mouth again..."

"Yeah. Ehhh." Willow hoped the night would end soon.

end Night of the Fikkers.


End file.
